Growing up, I remember my mom constantly calling me one of my sister’s names. Did your mom or dad do that? I remember a time when I called my daughter our dog's name.
A child recently said to me “I started to call you mom, then I started to call you my teacher’s name and then finally I said “Nanny Terri”. Similarly, we find ourselves having been walked into a room that we had no idea not only of having walked in there, but not knowing why we ended up there in the first place. We never question when things like that happen. We just kind of thump our heads and call ourselves names like “space cadet” or “I’m losing my mind”.
What about driving home from work and pulling into your driveway realizing that you don’t recall the drive home. Where were you? Who or what was driving for you? It can be frightening until one understands what exactly is taking place.
I marvel sometimes at the fact that I spent so many years of my life having those experiences, yet never having questioned them. I mean really and truly, to drive home with no recollection of the drive and to not be shocked to the core of yourself in that realization?
Thankfully, I was graced to come upon answers to that phenomenon, wherein I was able to find the truth of what was taking place within myself, which is what you always need to do – find the truth of things FOR YOURSELF, within yourself.
I thought I would briefly share what I learned so that you, as parents, may also find the truth within yourself as well and guide your children accordingly which will lead to a happier and more meaningful life for them.
I’ll state it as simply as a deep idea can be stated (which is quite the task). 😊
Think of there being two wills in this world. One belonging to something higher, a Will that lives in the present moment, our intended true guide. The other belonging to something lower, a will that belongs to the flesh that lives from the past. Most of us come into this world and live our entire lives from that lower will never realizing our true intended purpose was to be an instrument of that higher Will.
That lower will blinds us to real life. This isn’t religious, it is a spiritual fact, a spiritual law that lay hidden from most.
In living from that lower will, our mind and body become its instrument, meaning, we unknowingly act out that lower will believing it to be our own. We don’t hear the words it speaks to us. We don’t hear it tell us what to do or say to another. We don’t hear it trying to condemn us and others with self-hatred.
When we believe we are one and the same as that lower will (which we currently do), we believe in the self-hatred or whatever that will is professing to us. We are literally moved by that will in every moment when we aren’t aware of that fact. In giving our attention to it, we become fixed in its trance and believe it is “I”. We therefore aren’t in the present moment and can be walked into a room without even knowing it because our attention is co-opted by that unconscious will.
The little girl I spoke of at the beginning of this blog that called me two different names before she called out mine, was an instrument of that lower will. It literally speaks for us. How many times has something come out of your mouth that made you gasp in horror? That was something speaking FOR you – you were its instrument in that moment without understanding what was taking place. You just believed it was you that said that horrific thing!
The usual response when something like that happens is “I’m only human, I make mistakes.” However, that is an excuse, a certain justification. While it’s true that we all miss the mark (that is part of the learning process), we should be more curious as to why instead of waving it off with an off-handed excuse. We are explorers at heart. When did we stop being interested in exploring the depths of ourselves?
When someone says or does something that we don’t like and anger erupts inside of us, we instantaneously become angry. None of us would choose to be angry, to harm ourselves and others with that anger, yet we do so with the snap of a finger. Why? Because we are not present to ourselves and as such, become the instrument, the puppet of that lower will. We do its bidding. It walks for us and talks for us, as weird as that may sound to you.
We were given an exercise in class one day where we had to count slowly to 3 before responding to another in conversation. There were so many times, that I wasn’t able to do that and therefore, that lower will spoke for me. There is so much pressure in living from that lower will (because we have obeyed its command for eons) that it has become so automatic in us. It has convinced us that it IS us.
In order to be able to see that will in action and create a separation from it, we need to slow down and come to a complete stop before we respond in any moment. Otherwise, we have no chance against that old will that will work to keep perpetuating itself. By waiting, we invite a Higher Will to guide us in the moment.
When we agree to slow down and stop before responding to any person or event, we see just how difficult it is. If it’s difficult for us, it’s difficult for all. We can then understand what is taking place when someone says that hurtful thing to us. Instead of allowing that lower will to have its way and condemn them for the unkind remark, we see how we are helpless in the very same way. A certain understanding is then born in us.
We need guidance and help from that Higher Will, but that guidance can’t be received until we fully surrender to the fact that we see that in and of ourselves we can’t help ourselves. That is the invitation for the Higher Will to live our lives for us so that something new can be birthed into this world.
Exercise for the Week: Try the 3 second exercise I spoke of in this blog. Don’t “try” to do it. Work to be present to yourself and allow all the feelings and thoughts to pass through you before you speak.
Image Courtesy of: Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash