We are all familiar with the following questions that have been asked by others and by ourselves: “Why did he do that? Why did she say that? What did he mean by that? Why is she like that?”
Why, why, why…
What response is typically given to those “why” questions? An answer with a reason. A justification. An explanation.
Let’s dig deep and question things like I enjoy doing on this blog.
Have words ever come out of your mouth and after they did, you were in total shock? Why are we so shocked when that happens? If we truly have a will, then why do things like that happen?
That type of experience is typically excused with reasons and justifications such as “oh well, we are only human, we make mistakes.” Reasons, justifications and explanations cover up truth that is working to reveal itself to us in each and every moment.
How do they cover up truth? When we hand ourselves reasons for everything we do and for what others do in the moment, we are blind to what the present moment is revealing to us.
Haven’t you ever noticed that there is a part of you that instantaneously feeds you reasons why your child or spouse did what they did or why they said what they said? It happens so seamlessly and without question.
Why is something in us so desperate to rush in and feed us reasons why everything happens and why people are the way they are? The answer is because it wants to continue to be its own authority, to be the first in our lives, to be the God in our lives.
That part of us IS desperate. It has to prod and push us to do its bidding or else we will become aware of its game.
By continuing to play its game and listen to its voice of reason, we remain conflicted with one another. We remain out of the present moment, entangled in thought instead of attentive to ourselves waiting on higher guidance.
If reasons and justifications were the answer to bringing something new into this world, then certainly our natures would have changed by now. But has our nature really changed? Aren’t we still that same reactive self that just continues to resist everything that it doesn’t want in life?
How do we change from being simply a reactive self that continues to give ourselves reasons and justifications for everyone and everything that takes place, to someone that can be aware of those very reasons and justifications that are being fed to us in the moment?
We need to turn, turn, turn.
Turn where? Turn inward. We need to stop acting on and believing the reasons and justifications that we hand ourselves. To do this, our attention, as best as we are able, must be placed in the present moment where we can observe that very action when it is taking place and keeps us in that cycle. We then learn to wait and watch instead of instantaneously react and respond.
If we do that, we can catch the reason, catch the justification before it is unconsciously agreed to. When we agree to watch and wait, it is the same as inviting higher help.
You can imagine how much nicer your relationships with your children, your spouse, your co-workers will become when you don’t listen to something that tries to convince you that it knows the reasons for everything. It doesn’t and never will.
Image courtesy of: Jim Wilson on Unsplash
Exercise for the week: Take a notebook with you this week. Jot down as many reasons and justifications that your mind feeds you for how others are behaving or what is taking place in the world right now.