Many of us have heard our parents or teachers say “Never give up!”
Words themselves are meaningless without a real understanding to back them. We might agree, in a sense, to the words themselves, but if we don’t understand that there exists something within each of us that actually wishes that we do, then the words are empty, their meaning can’t be understood and therefore we are unable to live by them.
Working as a nanny, I see the tendency in children to give up when things get tough, when they hit a point of struggle in what they are trying to learn to do.
By simply telling a child to “never give up” when they are struggling, without sharing with them what is actually taking place within them in that moment, can actually cause the opposite effect. It can create a certain resistant second force in them that is not only IN FAVOR of giving up, but strengthens that part in them as well.
In their minds they hear you say “don’t give up”, but yet everything in them feels like giving up. Without an understanding of what is truly taking place, a child most likely will identify with a belief about themselves that they are inadequate or inferior because they feel they don’t have what it takes to never give up.
The key to what ails each and every one of us is the same, and the answer is as well. I’ve spoken of it many times in my blog along the way.
We have to learn to observe our minds and the dialogue that is speaking. When we don’t observe the mind, we serve the mind, meaning, we believe not only what it is saying about ourselves, but we believe it to be ourselves as well.
We have to work at separating from that old part of ourselves, and the only way that separation can take place is through constant self-observation instead of constant identification with it.
The sooner we are able to share with our children this information, the more natural it will become for them to turn inward, to the place where error originates, and see for themselves how self-harm and self-limitation takes place.
What limitation would a child have if they knew that ANYTHING inside them speaking negatively to and about them was a lie?
In those moments where they were struggling to learn something new and they heard a voice inside them say “this is too hard, just give up”, they would be able to recognize that defeating voice for what it is – a lie of the darkest kind.
My gosh what a difference all of our lives could be in understanding this. What things we could accomplish in and for this world if we understood this.
When we choose to learn ANYTHING new, there will ALWAYS be a point where we meet a limitation in ourselves. That’s simply how it works. There is a purpose for that limitation. We are meant to “walk through” that limitation and not give up.
In the moment where we meet that limitation, it’s as if we come to a road sign that says “Stop, look and listen.”
Stop. Stop and become fully aware of yourself and all the thoughts and feelings that are moving through you.
Look. Watch the swirling negative thoughts trying to convince you to give up, that it’s no use. Watch them but do not identify with them. Just wait.
Listen. Listen to higher guidance in the moment that has no voice. It is a form of true guidance that can’t be put into words but comes with the willingness to wait and watch.
If we don’t stop, look and listen, then there will simply be an automatic agreement to what the negative voice is saying to us in any moment, which will always be to our detriment and not for our greater good.
Exercise for the week: If you see your child becoming frustrated and wanting to give up when working on something, sit down and share this information with them, and let them then make the decision to continue on or not, because even if there is a choice made to not continue, you have planted a seed. Remind them again and again of this important information.