Many years ago, I saw a shirt in a mail order catalog that caught my attention. The shirt said “Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.”
Out of my mouth came a resounding “No!!!!!”
The word “No!” may have come out of this mouth, but the truth is an evident “Yes”.
As difficult as it is for most of us to accept (and as I've shared in previous blogs), our personalities are a make-up of our parents, our teachers, our friends, society. We have become what we have learned through them – through their behaviors, their reactions to life’s unwanted events, their tendencies, the way they interact with others, their fears. The list goes on.
We unconsciously acquire these things and because they are unconsciously acquired, we are unaware that they are hidden deep within us.
And so along comes a spider (an unwanted moment) where someone says something we don’t like, and these acquired parts of ourselves react in those moments in the only way they know how, the way they were unconsciously learned.
What happens after that negative reaction acts itself out? We act shocked and then judge ourselves for it, when we never really gave ourselves those deep-seeded reactions in the first place.
What is it that can we do if we aren’t even aware that these negative reactive parts in us exist?
Here is a list of things that may be of help:
Remember always that these parts are always triggered when any moment in life appears to go against what we want. If we can remember that, then we can learn to wait in unwanted moments for that part to arise and fall within us, which is the same thing as the proper conscious suffering and transformation of them.
Remember always that these parts of ourselves don’t serve what is new and true. They only serve what is old and false and therefore perpetuate harm in this world.
Remember always that when we agree to react from these acquired parts that arise in the moment, it is the same as asking for another moment to appear in our lives that will illicit the same reaction. Some refer to this as karma.
Remember always to never judge ourselves because it wasn’t us who acquired these reactions. Remember also as well, to not judge others for we all struggle with the acquired reactive self in varying degrees.
Remember always that the moment serves as a mirror to what is taking place inside us in each and every moment. In other words, if we are fighting internally with thoughts inside ourselves, our outer world mirrors that chaos.
If we can learn to remember these helpful tips, then in unwanted moments, we can learn to say “Mirror Mirror on the wall, I see myself after all.”
Meaning, I agree to see these parts of myself that are being revealed as being only borrowed parts that were unconsciously acquired.
When we agree to the sacrifice of those parts, we are given a new understanding in their place.
....And it is an understanding that each of us must find out for ourselves.
Exercise for the week: See if you are able to see yourself in the mirror of the moment. For example, see if you can connect your inner state and the thoughts that you are entangled in, with what is taking place outwardly in your life in that moment.