I recently came across a Facebook posting that made me smile both inwardly and outwardly. I will share with you why….
Beneath a picture of two boys were these words:
(Mom speaking) – “Late last night Myles (age 5) went on and on about how he had to be twins with a boy in his class for “Twin Day” because he said they looked exactly the same. He was adamant that they were identical. So after the kids went to bed, I went to Walmart to buy matching outfits for my son and his “twin” to wear.”
Twin Day came and the teacher took a picture of her son and his “twin” and sent the picture to the mom. Her heart melted upon seeing that picture.
Both boys had bright smiles on their faces. Her son, on the left, was Caucasian with light colored hair. The boy (his twin) on the right was African-American with curly black hair.
Obviously two very different looking children, but Myles didn’t see that. Why? Myles saw his friend through a different set of eyes.
We as human beings are gifted with two sets of eyes. One set of eyes sees literally, what is “out there” that’s different and separate from ourselves. The other set of eyes sees from and with the heart. That set of eyes “feels” what it sees.
Myles was connected to his inner eyes wherein he felt his friend and therefore was connected to him, not separate from him. He was one with his friend and in being one with him, he was seeing himself in his friend. In that picture of the boys, there was a bright expression of joy that lay on each of their faces. You could feel it. Perhaps that is what Myles saw in his friend – a similar inner joy that he felt
We would do well to help our children learn to use their inner eyes, to learn to feel instead of just see. Somewhere along the line, our feelings have been buried and we only see through the eyes of separation. If we only see through the eyes of separation, then that is what we will pass along to our children as well. The same old thing, nothing new.
Working to be present with your child when communicating and responding to them, allows all the feelings that are moving through in those moments to move through. Presence is a field where children feel safe to be honest and share their feelings. And the best part of practicing presence is that presence is what the child will then learn, and in turn, will become their natural state when communicating with others in life.
In that presence, they will be able to feel others and in being able to feel others, which is really the same as feeling themselves, there won’t be a part of them that will want to harm another in word or action. They will know and understand that harming another is the same as harming themselves.
There is a mountain of possibility for a new world in just that.
Exercise for the Week: Help your child to learn double attention. Double attention is where you are aware of the person you are speaking with and at the same time, you are aware of yourself and the thoughts and feelings that are moving through you. As always, lead by example. Do your best based on your child’s age.
Image courtesy of: Edi Libedinsky