….“If I was only prettier. ….If I was only thinner. ….If I was only smarter. ….If only I could make more money…” There are an endless list of “ifs”, aren’t there? Actually, if we had dollar for every one of our “ifs”, we’d be pretty well financially set! 😊
What is behind the idea of “if”? Could it be a hidden dissatisfaction with ourselves and our lives?
Yes, in a certain respect.
However, that hidden dissatisfaction is not really with ourselves or our lives. That dissatisfaction is an automatic byproduct of listening to old past parts of ourselves as our God and guide. Some refer to those parts of ourselves as "the ego."
The ego is only capable of comparing and judging. Comparing and judging can only take place if the past is involved. Comparing and judging can’t take place in the present moment because in presence, there is no separate self. There is simply awareness, inclusiveness, simply being.
Studying the ego is the work that I do on myself. It is quite shocking on just how strong that part of me feels at times…
This morning I was doing some household chores. As I was changing the sheets on my bed, there was pressure in me (which is always a sign of the ego) that if I put words to that feeling of pressure they would say “I should be doing something other than what I am doing right now, something more exciting, more fun…”
But the interesting thing is, I can’t remember ever being without that feeling. No matter what it is that I am doing, that same feeling, that pressure, is there wanting me to believe I would be happier IF I was doing anything another other than what I was being given in that moment to do.
But it makes perfect sense. Why?
The ego can’t live in the present moment. Our real life and true answers exist in the present moment. As such, it would make sense that the ego would consistently work to pull us out of the present moment so it can remain our God and guide. Otherwise, a certain death of itself would have to take place.
Imagine that. The death of the ego. It doesn’t sound appealing on the surface, but in order for anything new to take place within us, a certain space within us has to be relinquished, the space that is currently occupied by the ego.
But if we take a good look at our own lives, what egocentric things are we really relinquishing?
I’ll just name few things to see if they sound familiar to you:
· A need to be understood
· A need to be right
· A need to feel superior
· A need to blame
· A need to rush
· A need to justify and make excuses for ourselves
· The need to be seen as something special
In looking at that list, would we be relinquishing anything that is real or truthful?
All demands of the ego are false. So, in a sense we could say that we are relinquishing what is false so that what is true can "reside" in its place.
And if you don’t feel that any of the things I’ve listed above are demands of the ego, work to go against them (do the opposite) and you will see just how demanding those parts of yourself really are. It will shock you, but hopefully in a good way.
If’s don’t exist in the present moment. If you are struggling with something, always remember that the ego struggles with itself and the more attention that is placed on that struggle, the more energy we feed to that ego.
Let go. Let go. Let go.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
….you will then see that there is no such thing as “if” or “when” because your life is full and complete now.
Remember this important truth imparted by truth teacher, Guy Finley: "There's only what is. There's no such thing as "what isn't."
Be the living example to your child on what it means to simply be yourself, because nobody else can fill those shoes.
Be the living example to your child on what it means to "be here now" because if you aren't, something old will claim your life for you.